This post is only funny at the beginning, and that's questionable.
First, a conversation with my dad...
Dad: "I'd be proud of you even if you were a bag lady".
Me: "Thanks. Please remember that when I have a psychotic break and move into a box on my neighbor's lawn".
Second, using a list to shop...
These were things on my list (yes, I had a list; handwritten) for Target (yes, I still shop there):
- toilet paper
- aluminum foil
- AA batteries
What I left Target with:
- Sea Salt Almond Caramel Granola Bites
- Hershey's Milk Chocolate Nuggets with Toffee and Almonds
There is no substitute for butter. People try to tell themselves that there is, and that "this spread" tastes just as good. They lie; and I love butter, which is one of the reasons I was disappointed that I forgot to buy it.
Third, a medical tale…
In September of 2012, I became very ill with a gastrointestinal illness, the cause of which was never identified. There was only speculation, but no scientific proof. I went from 112 pounds to 96 pounds in a short period of time. The illness mimicked Crohn's disease and persisted at varying intensities for over a year. I had every test known to man and woman and they were all negative. I saw specialists and sub-specialists. The final diagnosis was IBS, which I think is what gets assigned to functional disorders when nothing else seems to fit.
The GI sub-specialist I saw recommended I start taking a drug which FDA has pulled from the market due to it's negative side effects, which include adhesions, bowel obstructions, the need for transfusions, and of course, death. Needless to say I did NOT elect to sign the waiver acknowledging that I accepted the risks associated with this medication and chose to seek alternative treatment.
I have been working with a nutritionist and it has radically altered the way I eat, although I admit I am not successful all of the time. The process started with charting what I ate daily, times I ate, and how I felt (both physically and emotionally). She determined that I was eating way too many fruits and vegetables and not enough grains, proteins, or fat. Who knew a person could eat too many fruits and vegetables? I am sure plenty of people know that. When the nutritionist saw my chart, she said, "wow, thats a lot of fiber". Well, we all know what fiber can do for you.
Anyway, this process has challenged my conditioned way of thinking about food, and believe or not, it has been so incredibly difficult to cut back on the fruit and veggies and replace them with grains and proteins. Mostly because I have an addiction to mangoes, pineapple, pomegranate seeds, dried apricots and dried cherries.
As I've said, I'm not always successful at meeting my daily meal plan, but the changes I have made have truly helped to restore my digestive health, without the use of a very serious drug.
Let food be thy medicine. Way to go Hippocrates.